Salary Rise

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Salary Rise ???

Penis requests salary rise.
I,the Penis hearby request a salary rise for following reasons
I, do physical labour
I, work at great depths
I, plunge head first in everything I do
I, do not get weekends off or public holidays
I, work in damp enviornment
I, don't get paid for overtime
I, work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I, I work in high tempretures
My work exposes me to some very contageous diseases(Aids)

The Reply
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering arguments you have raised the administration rejects your plea for following reasons.
You, do not work 8 hours straight
You, fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You, do not always follow the orders of the management team
You, do not stay in your allocated position and often visit other areas.
You, do not take initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You, leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You, don't always don't observe necessary saftey regulations, such as wearing the correct protective cloathing.
You, retire well before reaching 65.
You, are unable to work double shifts
You, sometimes leave your allocated position before you have compleated the days work. And if that were not all you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspisious looking Bags.

SINCERELY,
THE MANAGEMENT